It’s finally over! The 100 Days of Happiness Challenge thing! I did it!
*sigh of relief*
*then, overcome by emotion, hangs head and starts to weep. Shoulders start to shake violently as wrenching sobs take over. *
That’s it? A mere sigh and some tears of happiness? No dammit, this calls for fireworks!
I have to admit, the first pangs of regret started to creep in after a few weeks. It seemed like a fun thing to do… before I started doing it. I don’t know what the heck I was thinking, doing this when I already knew I’m just not a daily poster. It’s just that, it seemed like a meaningful thing to do. I still feel that way about it, actually.
I’m prone to whining to myself about the small things. This 100-day challenge was going to challenge me to take a closer look at some of the small things around me that at the back of my mind, I knew made me happy, but I didn’t really appreciate properly. Things I perhaps tend to brush aside, and all while whining and complaining about other stuff.
A few times I wanted to give up the challenge, thinking, “Oh, this is silly. What’s the point, really?”
I think I’ve said “Because it’s important to me that I finish what I start.” And even, “Because I don’t like not finishing what I’ve started.” as if I’m the epitome of discipline or something, when I’m not. It’s actually just about pride, haha. I’d be embarrassed if people see I’ve given up, that I’ve quit, even though really, who cares. It was like announcing to friends and family my previous attempts to stop smoking. When I lit up again, it was always embarrassing. It’s such a relief to finally quit some years ago, by the way.
(Edit 4th May: Having said that, about the previous failed attempts to stop smoking, I must add that any effort whether involving success or failure is still an important part of any journey, and always useful for the lessons it teaches and also serving as another stepping stone to the next effort.)
Some things the challenge taught me about myself:
- I love and appreciate flowers more than I realised. I didn’t realise I like orchids all that much. They’re so common. But they are now officially my favourite flowers, specifically purple ones.
- I love food a bit too much. I’ve always known this, but the challenge forces me to face it more than I want to. I’m not obese, but I’ve been needing to lose some kilos since… forever. My love for food is why even though I exercise regularly, I just can’t shake off the weight. I think different bodies work differently, and for mine to be trim, I need to focus 75% effort on diet, 25% on exercise. At the moment it’s the reverse. Oh, this is old news. Just something the challenge shoved to my face time and again.
- I realised (I’m actually startled, to be honest) that perhaps I might kinda somewhat not appreciate my partner enough. I think it’s because we don’t just live together, we work together, so we already spend so much time together during working hours. So when we get home, we tend to retreat to our own space and be engrossed with our own things. And also, I look sloppy and dress like shit when around just him, whether at home or out! Just because I don’t need to impress him!
- I’ve found I enjoy hanging out in the kitchen while he cooks, to chat more with him. We should do more stuff together instead of just work or sit slumped on the sofa watching TV, without a word. I need to blog less and spend more time with him. We both need to spend less time surfing online.
- I actually really love long walks, much more than I realised. I do it not just for the exercise, but for my need to get away from the congestion. Long walks are effective in helping me find some peace of mind. I should get Bert to come with me.
- I’m a lone ranger. I’ve always known that, but I’m at my happiest and calm and secure when it’s just me and Bert.
- I didn’t realise I enjoy art so much. For example, I like looking at sculptures when I happen to come across them. They’re not just something pretty I glance at quickly and then move on. I should get out more often and visit our museums and see more exhibitions. Explore more parks.
- The post by Peter of the blog Peterisms, which introduced me to the challenge.
Day 100 of ‘100 Happy Days‘.