He’s ready for his close-up

A few days ago, I was browsing through Stomp, a Singapore ‘online journalism web portal‘, and came across a hilarious Thai ad for Watsons, a health and beauty retail chain with many stores in some Asian countries, including Singapore, Malaysia and Thailand.

This is not the first creative ad from Thailand I’ve enjoyed. I think I have come across quite a few so far.

This one promotes their beauty products, and it just cracked me up. I like it a lot. It’s funny thanks to the cute, impish actor who was perfectly cast for his role.


And that’s how real men do it, part 2

Too damn cute! A newscaster in Ireland, with a nicely manly voice, merrily powdering his face.

From Gawker, seen via Tastefully Offensive. Youtube video posted by Kathy Gill.

Immediately reminded me of this guy in the same situation last year.

WTF: Manscara

I came across the above clip while checking out videos on youtube on the subject matter. It’s from a BBC comedy called Hyperdrive.

Last Friday, Urban, the weekly fashion and beauty supplement that comes with the Straits Times, featured a cover story for their men’s special and titled it ‘Manscara for you, Sir?‘ And below the title:

Make-up for men now includes mascara, compact powders and even false eyelashes.

One look at that and I thought, “Oh, what the fuck now?!” It seems to me that the attempts at the feminization of gay men is relentless. One nonsensical thing after another. And of course the media encourages this, to sell more stuff, including advertising space. That’s how I feel anyway. And I say ‘gay men’ because of course that’s where make-up for men is really targeted. Because there’s no way straight men are going to bite. It’s just like men’s fashion shows. What straight man would give a shit unless it’s work-related; he’s working in the industry or has some sort of investment in it.

Ok, so the goodlooking shirtless model Urban featured didn’t exactly look delicate, although his complexion and chest looked (or Photoshopped to look) smooth and flawless as a baby’s bottom. He did glare at the camera, and with only a semi-pout, and he held the mascara stick like a knife, a weapon, not a make-up tool. The stylist had mascara dramatically flowing from below his eyes like blood gushing out from where he had cut himself. So, wow, poetic butch points there. Also for the pretty but massive tattoo decorating one shoulder and arm. But of course I’m just kidding about this. I’ve met quite a few gay guys who only look musculine, maybe with beards or moustaches, heavily muscled or fat, etc. But with mannerisms that are effiminate.

I don’t find effeminate men attractive, but that’s all, I don’t dislike or have a problem with them. Especially after having had friends and lovers who were ‘manly’ in both looks and manner, but who could be such drama queens with vicious tempers, with such cutting tongues LOL, and not forgetting the mindfuck. The childish mind games. Two or three of these guys were even in their fifties, I think. Older does not mean wiser or more mature, not necessarily.

Anway, back to the manscara thing. Turns out it’s not a new thing. I came across two Guardian articles from almost four years ago. The first one is titled ‘Manscara. Suits you, sir.’ and includes a video showing the writer Paul MacInnes being made up. The second one ‘Makeup for men – heading to a chemist near you soon‘ is by Homa Khaleeli. Also, the video clip from Hyperdrive at the beginning of this post was from either 2006 or the following year. The show ran for two seasons during those two years.

More videos, although not featuring mascara on men. The guy in the next one is the least effeminate I came across, and the video also has a practical DIY feel which is interesting I thought, considering the subject matter. To watch this, click play as usual, but after that click ‘Watch on YouTube.’

And the following is a hilarious comedy clip. The ‘tips’ start at around the 2:30 mark. Warning: explicit language.

And that’s how real men do it

Put on make up that is.

You don’t preen into the mirror with a half-pout like you think you’re Marilyn Monroe. You stare deep into it like you’re butch-talking it in your head.

You don’t smooth the powder on softly like you’re treating your face to the luxurious feel of silk.  You dab-dab-dab with quick agile strokes like you mean business, sort of like Rocky Balboa being lethal in a boxing ring, but the putting on makeup version.

But as for the ‘oh thank goodness that’s all done and I’m all pretty again now’ part… hmmm, there’s room for improvement there. And ditto for the ‘oh fuck’ look right at the end LOL.

Poor guy!! I don’t use make up but I know the feeling of wanting the ground to swallow me whole so I could just disappear! Like one time ages ago when I got careless and didn’t lock the bathroom door and someone caught me jerking off. But that didn’t happen on TV haha!

(Via Dlisted and Tastefully Offensive, video uploaded to Youtube by TalleresJose)