Hiatus

This is rather personal, and I’ve wondered whether to write about it. But oh well, that’s the beauty of being anonymous(ish), you can wear your heart on your sleeve and write really personal stuff. And besides this is supposed to serve as a diary of sorts.

*

I will have to take an indefinite break from writing here. Since a month or so ago, I’ve taken on a second job to address my current financial situation. Nothing dire or desperate, for now, but it’s best I’ve rolled up my sleeves higher and got to work to start to fix it before it gets to that stage. There are also two or three things I want to do or buy so I want to save up for that as well.

It’s kinda hard, to be honest. And it’s fucking depressing to be in this situation at this stage of my life. Not cute or funny in your twenties, so yeah, depressing and downright scary in your forties.

But when I feel a tad too whiny, I try to correct my attitude by telling myself that I’ve committed a crime (quite apt actually to think of it that way, not planning for financial stability for your future as a crime) and the judge has punished me to two years of hard labour. And I feel a bit better. As far as hard labour goes, my second job is easy.

And a funny coincidence: someone asked me what I thought of the shitty food they serve at the cafeteria there. I politely lied, “It’s okay.”, but inside I was thinking, “I‘ve never been to prison before, but I imagine this is what prison food looks and tastes like.

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Between that and my regular job, and a sick cat I still have to attend to on a daily basis with medicine and feedings via a syringe (because she’s just not eating on her own, poor thing), and other cats (mah babies!) regular housekeeping (because I’m a bit of a neat freak), regular exercise to keep healthy (I try), and some other even more boring-sounding things (but I want/have to do them anyway) there is just no time to write. Priorities.

It makes me sad because this space is the only writing I do, a hobby I’m fond of. But I’m just too exhausted all the time. I sit my ass in front of the computer and within minutes my eyelids start to get heavy. So sleepy, so very tired.

More than the writing I’ll definitely miss regularly going through the blogs I follow. All the wonderful photography, poetry, reviews and and other stuff I’ve had the privilege to enjoy these past few years. I’ll try to drop by every so often.

*

Not to be a drama queen or anything *laughs*, but I just have this song going on in my head now. It’s my favourite MIchelle Branch song, too. I’ve always loved it.

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12 thoughts on “Hiatus

  1. Ahhhh, life is a puzzle isn’t Halim. It often makes no sense and we just drift along with the tide of fortune and misfortune. We lead un-natural lives, spending years working for organizations we may or may not respect, to make money to survive. We have lost the freedom that came in the past from being self sufficient, working for ourselves and nature to survive. Some people see this as progress and civilization, but I see it as devolution and slavery,
    Try not to blame yourself for being caught up in capitalism. It is a cruel system.
    I will miss you and our chats and wish you only the best my friend. I hope you rest and sleep and come back here when you can.
    Be well my friend.

    • Thank you, Cindy! I appreciate your words, they touch and soothe me. Naturally I would have done things differently and make different decisions, but who doesn’t? haha! I’m happy I still have my health and so many other things to be grateful for, including the luxury option of having a second job when I need it. So many other people around the world have so much less. let alone that option, so I’m very lucky indeed to be born in this country.

      I will miss you too! And I wish you the best as well. Cheers, Cindy!

  2. Sorry to hear all of this Halim. It’s never easy balancing the stresses and needs of our daily lives with how we’d like to spend our time. I know what you mean about sitting in front of the computer and the eyelids start dropping.. it does that to me at times, and that’s just looking at the laptop! LOL But I suppose that’s all a part of life (and for me, working in an office, so am in front of a computer all day).

    I really hope things get better soon and you’re able to pop by once in awhile to give us an update on how things are going. :)

    • Thank you, Martin! Yeah it was a tough adjustment at first, but I’m slowly getting into the routine, and while it’s still a drag sometimes, I’m basically just relieved I have options to make it better. So I’m just riding it out and looking forward to the future. I used to complain occasionally about how time flies, well THIS is definitely a good reason for time to fly, so it better continue to do so for me, haha!

  3. A hiatus can be a good thing. (I seem to be excelling at mine…) Halim, you’re one of the first people I ran into when I arrived in the blogosphere. And that was a fortunate collision! It’s been a pleasure following you on this bit of your journey my gay, Muslim, Singaporean friend. We live in a world where our personal adjectives too often divide us. But you have a gift for inviting your readers in. Your writing is authentic; you keep it real. I’ve learned much and enjoyed even more about the life and times of Halim! So get on with the business at hand. And know that your fans await your return to this space — whenever that may be. Peace.

    • Oh wow Steve, thank you so much my lovely friend. You give me such huge compliments, and they mean a lot to me, especially since you’re such a cool guy yourself whose writing I’ve always enjoyed as well. Peace and best wishes to you. Much love.

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