It’s almost 2.30am. I’ve given up trying to sleep for now. My heart is bursting with joy. I might as well try to release some of it here. Maybe then I can calm down a bit and try to sleep.
An hour ago I reconnected with a gay friend on Facebook, and he stunned me with the news he’s getting married! I don’t know what surprises me more; the news he’s getting married or my reaction to it. I’m so happy for him if I don’t stop now I’m going to start crying.
If he ever happens to read this, I hope he won’t laugh.
I know the posts here are publicized on my Facebook feed, which I’m disabling for this post but if he still happens to read this one day, I hope he won’t mind I’ve written about this. I won’t refer to him here in even the remotest way like with initials, nor even say which country he is from, to respect his privacy and identity. I’m not sure about other links; if the public can see my friends list over there on FB or something like that and make the connection to him, if anyone is so inclined. Which I highly doubt anyone would give a hoot but I guess better be safe.
I would be a hypocrite to myself if I don’t include here that I don’t believe in marriage for myself, and that my partner feels the same. We have discussed this. I think our love and respect for each other, from a roaring fire in the early days and after many ups and downs and almost twenty years, have settled down to a gentle simmer which I adore and need and am intricately addicted to body and soul. As much as I love him, as much as he is part of the air I breathe, if we do get married, (we can’t but if we are in a place where we can), it would only be for the sake of convenience, for legal matters like control of decision making in the event of hospitalisation or death. Stuff like that which we would prefer to arrange in some other legally recognised way if possible.
So why am I so friggin’ happy my friend is getting married? Because I don’t have to believe in marriage to know that for people who do believe in it, it’s something so important and meaningful to them, it’s the ultimate commitment for them to someone they love. And I’m so happy for my friend, that’s he’s so in love and so happy.
I knew him only a few years ago, and the actual total time of our interaction in person was actually very brief. But I’m very fond of him, he had touched me in a profound way and so I consider him a dear friend. However little I know him, I think I do know how much love means to him, how seriously and honourably he treats it, and that marriage would be something sacred and ultimate to him.
He is going to make such a wonderful husband. F**k! I don’t know why I’m so emotional about this, why I’m so happy for them both. I never met his fiancé before and uhm, when I think about it, I don’t know my friend all that long or that well hahahaha…. I’m too much of a gushing romantic. Calm down, Hal!! LOL
And something else he told me… not only are they in love and getting married, but they deeply respect and take a keen interest in each others’ religious faiths too. How much more friggin’ perfect a couple!
I so wish the partner is still up and awake at this crazy hour with me so I can tell him the good news so we can hug in happiness or something haha! I need to hug somebody dammit.
Ok, I’m just going to go select a suitably romantic photo from Tumblr for this post and then I really need to go to bed.
And okay one of my favourite love songs as well.