I love my bear

The best one I’ve had is the one I still have, I’m happy to say. Except that he doesn’t like to be referred to as a bear. His expression goes all ‘eww’ when I call him that. Not that he has anything against all that fur on his torso. It’s something that neither delights nor disgusts him. It just happens to be there. It’s not something that he thinks about. He’s just fine with it.

Me, on the other hand, I absolutely love it, and am glad for it. My taste in men visual-wise, is mostly wired that way. I guess I associate ‘hairy’ with ‘manly’, which is silly. I’ve met hairy effeminate men, as well as smooth masculine ones. It’s just a look that I like in my man. I’m hairy, too. Especially for an Asian who is not an Indian. Like Caucasian men, it’s not unusual for Indian men to be hairy. But I think it is for Malays and Chinese. I’m Malay, and I think the sprinkling of hair on my torso might be a tad denser that usual for men of my race. I’m rather pleased with it. The partner doesn’t like it, I think. He’s more into the hairless look. But we’ve been together for years.

Would we be if he wasn’t a bear? Well yeah of course, I don’t think (or at least I hope not) that I’m so shallow that I would choose to spend my life with a guy based on whether he has hair on his torso or not.

Anyway, we’ve been together, what, 17 years now? Not sure. All this time together, and we’ve never bothered to sit down to figure out how long exactly. Probably never will. What does it matter. I don’t think the amount of years we’ve passed with our partner is something to be proud of. Time was gonna pass anyway. It’s how we’ve spent that time together. With our hearts filled with love? Or hate during a fight, sharp and blinding as white light. Grudging resentment, simmering or boiling over. Or the worst: plain indifference. Those and a host of other emotions for sure, in innumerable combos and to varying degrees. Part of the relationship. I hope, and I can only hope because it’s not like I keep tabs at any time during all those years, but I hope that it was mostly love. Well, at least today it’s definitely love.

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